Posted by pinkeye on May 12, 2005, at 15:44:36
In reply to Re: I think I have some serious issues **trigger**, posted by anastasia56 on May 12, 2005, at 15:31:49
The thing is I think somehow I can fix it.. Somehow if I were better or somehow changed my attitude or somehow please my hsuband little more, maybe he would have been more affectionate towards me. Maybe he wouldn't have gotten into all that cult thing. Maybe he would have been more considerate towards me.
I really feel people kind of get what they deserve.. and if I am getting bad things in life, it is because I deserve it. Maybe it is what is taught in my religion.
And I felt guilty about liking my ex T also.. somehow I feel I don't deserve to be treated with respect, becuase I liked someone outside of marriage.
And even with my fahter, I alwasy thought somehow if I changed myself, he would like me or not scold me or not scold my mom.
My new T also says the same thing that you guys do.. that somehow I always manage to blame myself .. and she thinks it is a huge issue for me with my dad. My dad always used to say take responsibility and don't blame circumstances or others. And she thinks my problem with men is because of my getting really abused by my dad. She thinks what my dad is really serious - and that it has really damaged me.
Maybe I am just irrevocably damaged..
poster:pinkeye
thread:496916
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/496955.html