Posted by tom_traubert on May 5, 2005, at 21:10:09
In reply to Re: How do I forgive » tom_traubert, posted by pinkeye on May 3, 2005, at 14:21:52
you are not "holding anything up against him", you are expressing anger at his actions. There is a crucial difference. What he did is unforgivable--you are entitled to be enraged at his ACTION.
I'm guessing that when you feel anger toward him, you start to feel guilty because you think of all the things he's done for you and how he is a good person. Throw the guilt nonsense out. Get angry at how someone makes you feel--it doesn't make you a bad person, it doesn't make you an ungrateful child, it releases anger and frustrated feelings that are pure poison. If I sound preachy, I'm sorry, but I labored for years under the bulls--t of feeling guilty for having anger toward others. I always felt it was my fault, like "who am I to be angry?" which makes it twice as worse.
You can get mad at people, situations, actions. It is permitted. Don't feel guilty about it.
tt
poster:tom_traubert
thread:491636
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/494258.html