Posted by Tamar on May 2, 2005, at 12:51:13
In reply to Oh my head. SEXUAL TRIGGER or something, posted by Dinah on May 2, 2005, at 12:19:12
> I think I'm not going to be able to talk to my therapist about this because he just doesn't understand, and I don't have the words to make him understand and my head hurts so from the pressure that i just want to explode or something. can i get a female therapist just to translate? will a female therapist understand?
I’m not sure a female therapist would understand just because she’s female. But I could be wrong. It might depend on her professional interests and experience. A sex therapist (male or female) might understand, perhaps.
> I'm scared of female genitalia. Not girl's, but women's. I mostly know the bad names for it, not the right ones.
Most of the names for it *are* bad names, and the names that aren’t bad sound so medical/clinical. My daughter’s friend calls her genitals her ‘flower’, but it’s quite unspecific (unless, I suppose, you extend the metaphor and start talking about petals and stamen etc).
> I keep trying to explain to him that i don't have that, at least not the kind a woman has. I just don't. And that means so many things to me that they just press in on my head and bounce off and i can't grab them and i can't find any more words than that. i'm almost positive it's symbolic but maybe it's not and in either case he just doesn't understand what i mean when i say i don't have that and i don't think he ever will understand.
Do you think of your own genitalia as childlike? Do you feel your sexual response is somehow immature or undeveloped? If so, I could imagine you don’t feel you have adult female genitalia. I suppose the question I’m intrigued by is whether you feel you don’t have genitalia at all, or whether you feel it’s a question of child genitalia rather than adult genitalia. I mention it because I was feeling recently that I think of my sexual response as immature and not fully adult. But I do think of my body as female rather than genderless. However, I’m pretty sure there are people who feel they don’t have genitals at all.
> he keeps getting sidetracked by wanting me to use words for it, and that's just not the point and my head hurts so much just thinking about it and it was hard to tell him and he'll never understand and it's not fair.I can imagine you can’t use a word to describe your body if you feel it’s not a word that describes your body. There’s no point trying to use words for it that don’t fit.
Maybe he’ll start to understand as you start to understand it better. But yes, it’s unfair. It’s hard enough to tell people stuff like that, without them failing to understand. Grrr!
poster:Tamar
thread:492656
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/492678.html