Posted by Daisym on May 1, 2005, at 14:44:17
In reply to I wish that for you too » daisym, posted by Dinah on May 1, 2005, at 8:54:48
Thanks Dinah. I can tell you understand. It is so hard to explain to people who think,"but you have so much time to get ready, to say good-bye." I think people imagine a TV movie where the patient is graceful and calm. It just isn't so. And the timeline is a moving target. Could be 5 years. Could be tomorrow. Should have been last week. He has an amazing ability to keep pulling out of it. So you are right, I'm losing him a piece at a time. I don't want to end up hating him by the end.
We talk about this a lot in therapy. It is hard not to project my feelings of "stop complaining" onto my therapist. If I feel that way, why wouldn't he, about me? And I'm terrified of losing him. I think I wrote here that I had a dream where I was giving my husband's eulogy and I looked down and my therapist was in the coffin. He didn't know what to make of the dream when I told him, except the obvious concern that I won't "need" him after all of this and therefore he will be lost too.
And there is another whole re-enactment that is going on for me too. Even though I recognize these as old feelings, I'm having a hard time getting past them.
Thanks for the support.
poster:Daisym
thread:492153
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/492352.html