Posted by Speaker on April 29, 2005, at 0:50:40
In reply to Re: Your posts inspire me » LadyBug, posted by daisym on April 27, 2005, at 23:42:55
Daisy,
I am so sorry you are going through this. I haven't been on the computer for several weeks and then tonight I thought about you and got on the board...I'm sorry I haven't gotten here quicker.
I want you to know it is harder to be the one standing next to the bed than it is to be in the bed. I always felt guilty for feelings...like I should be able to do better. However, my husband always agreed that it was worse on me and it was very hard for him to watch all that fell on me due to him being ill. I know for me it helped to have someone realize that (I didn't have a T then but I wish I would have) and it would have been better if it would have been a T. I wish I would have had someone to cry with...please feel free to do that as you will be better for that! It is ok if you just go to therapy to cry...remember you are paying him and he would feel better to see you trust him that way.
Please don't focus on tomorrow...just attend to one day at a time. I noticed your T said he was there for you if you needed him and when you were so sad you missed his call you didn
't call him back. Don't keep yourself from getting a bit of comfort when it is offered...I know that is hard to do.I got totally sick of people telling me how strong I was...it made me feel like I had to live up to their standard. People told me I was the glue in the situation...what presure! It is all so far out of anyone's control and that is the hardest thing to live with...so much to do and yet no control of the situation. Don't be so hard on yourself as all your feelings are very understandable and expected. This IS the time to be in therapy. You don't need to always work on the childhood stuff. Give yourself a break while you are taking care of children and hospital runs and working and cooking and laundry and, and, and!!! IT IS OK if it doesn't all get done. Believe it or not even work will go on if you don't get your stuff finished. You are a very competent person and it is hard to let thing go. I am the same way but I realized there is nothing I can't do but I can't do it ALL. Please allow your T to help...call him every day if it will help and I think it would help! Sorry this is getting long. If you would want me to e-mail you please give me your e-mail address and I will get back to you asap. I would love to talk on the phone if you are willing. It is hard for people who have not lived with illness to understand...they are very helpful but it's not the same. Please update me on how your husband is doing. My prayers are with you and your family. ((((Daisy))))
Take care,
Speaker
poster:Speaker
thread:489106
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/491300.html