Posted by LG04 on March 21, 2005, at 12:15:39
In reply to Re: one more p.s. » LG04, posted by Susan47 on March 21, 2005, at 11:34:36
that's AWFUL what your therapist did and totally, 100% unethical. i am so sorry that happened to you. there ARE good therapists out there. i also had a very emotionally abusive therapist who terminated me after i confronted him about something that was bothering me. it was my first therapist. it was devestating. i really understand.
>>if you can talk about that issue directly, if she can tell you she cares still and she doesn't forget about you, if you can work out that you and she have an emotional connection that transcends the times you see her, that she does think about you at times she's not with you, if you can somehow maybe work something out where you believe she carries you in her heart in between visits and talks, I think that would help you tremendously.>>
actually she tells me all the time that she carries me with her in her heart and in her head. i know she thinks about me a lot. she tells me. she will be reading a magazine and think about me or she'll wonder what i'm doing or she'll see something that reminds her of me. i know she really loves me. and she is very honest with me about her issues when they come up and i ask her about them. it is so helpful to me b/c otherwise i don't understand what is going on.
it took a long time for us to reach that point. i had to convince her that it would be helpful for me. then she tried it and saw that it was indeed very helpful to me. it helps me to understand where my reactions are coming from, or to not take personally something she is doing. it helps me to understand the relationship that i am in.
it also helped me to figure out the whole idealization transference issue. even she didn't see it. i was very afraid to tell her about it b/c it involves one of her defenses too. but she was very open and kept gently telling me that it's okay, she wants to hear. and she did hear. it was hard for her but she recognized herself in what i was saying. not many therapists let a client get deep into their head and then tell them what they figured out about them. she trusts me very much. she said she won't tell me where an issue comes from, i.e. the origin of it, that's crossing a boundary. but if it's relevant to our relationship, she will talk about an issue she has to help us work thru something. we both agree that the idealization thing is a very important issue for us to work on together.
so she really is wonderful in so many ways. it's helping me to write about this b/c i'm getting less angry at her.
thanks for your feedback susan.
LG
poster:LG04
thread:473495
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/473607.html