Posted by pinkeye on March 18, 2005, at 16:25:24
In reply to Re: Dissipated, into the Ethereal » pinkeye, posted by Susan47 on March 18, 2005, at 15:50:28
I am not sure about your history with your father, but I can understand the feelings. Because I had a very powerful relationship with my father, and in a way, I grew up to be mostly to be his mirror and did everything he wanted to do in his life, all my likings were my father's likings etc. And it suppressed a lot of things for me. And I, in a way, became the emotional support and companion for my father also. All this gave me the power of being in the center, and everything in my life also revolved unconsciously about my father - I would like the same movies he liked, same actors, same foods, etc etc. I had a hard time breaking up from it and defining my own individuality. But thankfully for me, I moved out of my home 10 years back and have been meeting a lot of people and living away from home by myself, and that has helped me immensely in defining who I am for myself, what I like, what I don't like etc. And the final touch came from my ex therapist. It helped me not only grow intellectually, but emotionally as well.
So in short, what I want to say to you is, whatever your father did or did not do for you, did give or did not give, it is probably time to let go of it, and grow up to be yourself. All of us do inherit lots of things from parents, certain likings and dislikings, but we need to extend that and find things which we like for ourselves and what we want to be after a certain point.
Also maybe you can read one of my posts above for Tamar, if you wish - in her thread about her last visit with her therapist. I have said soemthings which was told to me by my new T, and I think it might help you as well, since you also seem to have had a little confusing relationship with your dad. IT might help you in overcoming your attraction to your ex T.
poster:pinkeye
thread:472086
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/472554.html