Posted by Susan47 on March 17, 2005, at 13:41:33
Okay, so that makes sense I guess. BUt nothing came up yesterday that I didn't already know, just I had to speak things. And I asked her not to refer to the rapes anymore as rapes, I said, Please don't call them rapes, call them ... and any word she came up with was inadequate, not right, until I told her to call them incidents. Incidents, that's what they were, I said. And we don't really think it's necessary to re-live any of it, just revisit the feeling, you know only the one feeling that causes me distress. But I can control this anxiety, because I can't live with it and I can't act it out and nobody will hold me, there's nobody who will hold me, I have nowhere to go, nowhere is safe. I have to be safe inside, within myself I have to find a safe place because he doesn't love me, he doesn't care about me, he's not there and I know that and I understand that but I don't, you know, I don't know how to change any of it or make any of it any different than it is, it takes two people you can't have only one person wanting something, that's not healthy, it's not good at all. I need to get a lid on my mind. Close it, shut everything down, deal only with what's in front of me. Tonight we get told where our practicums will be.
poster:Susan47
thread:472086
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/472086.html