Posted by daisym on March 14, 2005, at 0:13:08
In reply to Re: Visit to pdoc (long) » daisym, posted by Shortelise on March 13, 2005, at 20:06:25
I've spent the better part of an hour staring at the phone. I've picked it up and dialed my therapist's number 4 times and listened to his message and put it down. I just can't make myself leave the message I want to leave. So I'm leaving it here:
"I'm completely freaked out tonight about leaving home again. There are too many details to take care of and I can't do any of them. I've been snapping at my kids all evening, and then tearfully apologizing. The anxiety is at a point where I just want to scream out loud. I don't know how to calm myself down right now. I feel like you are disappearing from my life, being gobbled up by the work monster. And I don't know how to stop the feeling that I'll never find my way back to a space where I can be comfortable working on things in therapy again. I'm hoping you know."
But I can't leave this message. I've been thinking all day about the past few months of therapy and I'm mortified at my own behavior. I can't believe how intense things have been and how often I've been telling him how much I need him. So leaving a tearful message would just make how I feel right now even worse.
I really do think that pdoc f-d with my head. I'll reread all your posts again and again while I'm gone. I think I'm posting so that I can absorb the support I feel here via computer-osmosis.
Thank you all. A soggy Daisy.
poster:daisym
thread:470309
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050305/msgs/470741.html