Posted by Susan47 on March 6, 2005, at 11:51:30
In reply to Re: Losing Control » Toph, posted by Susan47 on March 6, 2005, at 11:40:50
I feel guilty because I know I was asking him to carry a burden.
And I believe he did carry it.
And I believe that the carrying hurt him.
It hurt him more than it did me.
And he asked me to start carrying some of the load.
But I wasn't ready, I wanted to hurt him
Because I was jealous of him, his happiness.
I wanted his happiness.
I raped him, I raped HIM!!!
It was my revenge.
I took it all out on him, and he was so incredibly beautiful.
And finally, he had to put down the load.
But I wasn't ready.
And now I may be.
Now, thanks to his silence, his loving ways,
Perhaps he's taught me more than I realize...
By he being him, and me being me,
and his wanting and hoping for the best,
and my wanting so very much, in the end, to please him,
because I did love and respect him, him more than anyone....
How beautiful can a person be?
I love him, but it's not a hopeless love.
It's a love that fills me ...
poster:Susan47
thread:466321
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050305/msgs/467338.html