Posted by fallsfall on March 1, 2005, at 11:14:23
In reply to Re: Prognosis » fallsfall, posted by littleone on February 28, 2005, at 20:14:48
> I don't think you've really clarified anywhere in this post whether you are thinking of full time work or part time. I've never worked part time myself, but I would think they would feel very different. Is it possible that your goal could be to work x hours per week rather than aiming for a full time job? I'm not sure if that would be feasible if you're getting some sort of disability benefits.
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*** I currently work 10 hours a week. I am on SSDI, so there is a limit to what I can earn without losing my benefits. There are programs (Trail Work Periods, and Ticket to Work) which help with narrowing the gap. But the bottom line is that there is only so much "easing into work" that can be done, and still be able to eat. I have an appointment with a Vocational Rehabilitation counselor next week (which is what has prompted this current panic).
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> I think it would be important to ensure that your safety net/backup plan isn't something that you will unconsciously aim for. That all parts of you realise that working is a more attractive option than the backup. I think that would take quite some work with your T. I would tend to think that then you won't be as likely to expect a crash. You will be more focussed on attaining your goals.
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*** You are pretty smart! This is what we have been working on. I believe that the depth of my depression is an unconscious mechanism for keeping me from the danger of working. We are working on "making the unconscious conscious" - which right now means becoming aware that I am convinced that I *will* crash again at some point.
> There are other options to working you know. Volunteering is one that springs to mind. And there are more informal work environments, eg tutoring kids, etc. Sorry, I'm not trying to invalidate you, just trying to broaden your options if you feel backed into a corner.
> >
*** I volunteered before I took my 10 hour a week job. But I feel that if I am *capable* of working that it is irresponsible of me to *not* be supporting myself.> I must admit I did get a little lost with your %'s. So I'm a little confused as to what your T thinks your prognosis is like. But I hope he disputes this idea of yours. How can you continue therapy without hope?
*** My specialty is confusing people with numbers... My hope currently is that I will have some good years before the next crash - that eventually my "good" periods will be longer than my "bad" periods. At this point, this is as good as it gets.
poster:fallsfall
thread:464547
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050225/msgs/464890.html