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Re: Making mountains out of mole hills » fallsfall

Posted by daisym on February 23, 2005, at 0:48:46

In reply to Re: Making mountains out of mole hills » daisym, posted by fallsfall on February 22, 2005, at 22:24:39

Honestly Falls, I'm questioning what I have hope for in the future.

Everything feels so intense and surreal. I'm freaked out again by the intensity of my feelings and how sensitive to everything I am. This just isn't how I know myself. And, not only am I easily upset by my therapist and therapy sessions, but I can't seem to hold the upset in. I TELL HIM. Sheesh. I barely tell my husband when I'm mad at him.

I have this image of him hanging up after a phone conversation with me, staring at the phone, shaking his head, thinking, "silly woman. She's just going to have to learn that the only one who can make this better is her. I'm just the guide."

What is really scary is that he recognizes that I want something from him...but what do I really want? I really don't know. Am I wishing for something completely impossible? I think I feel a secret hope creeping that he can make a difference and I immediately tell myself how dangerous this hope is.

I want to ask him if this intensity is common or have I become completely obsessed and I can't see it? And if I am obsessed, what does that mean? I don't want a sexual relationship. I don't have fantasies of life outside the therapy room. So what is this about?

I said it before, I'm driving myself crazy.

 

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