Posted by gardenergirl on February 19, 2005, at 9:56:20
In reply to Re: Freud anyone? » gardenergirl, posted by TamaraJ on February 16, 2005, at 16:06:15
> I have the same feelings as you. On the issue of aggression, I have an intense fear of aggressive behaviour, and go to great lengths to avoid situations where confrontation is taking place or which may lead to raised voices and aggressive behaviour.
Oh, me too. I hate conflict. Even when I know I am right, I have a hard time being assertive and confronting it directly. I tend to do nothing, or use humor to deflect. And then of course I feel resentment because I don't get what I need. Grrrr.
>I am not so much afraid of whether I will become aggressive (because I never have), but rather whether others will.
You know, this reminds me of a situation when a student in a class I was teaching became quite confrontational (right in my face yelling) in front of the whole class. I actually handled it pretty calmly and stayed focused on his behavior. But it was very scary. In thinking about how I managed to handle that but have so much trouble in other situations, I think it's because I really didn't care if he liked me or not. He was clearly in the wrong, and was just trying to push my buttons. But he was a HUGE biker type guy! yikes!
I think that I worry about being aggressive or even assertive because I worry about how others will respond and what they will think of me. What others will think is an issue that keeps coming back up. I think it's because my dad was so socially conscious. And good children, especially "good little girls" do not "misbehave".
Thanks for stimulating my thinking on this. I feel less blocked.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:458869
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050218/msgs/460311.html