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Re: Freud anyone?...may be a ** trigger** » daisym

Posted by gardenergirl on February 19, 2005, at 10:08:03

In reply to Re: Freud anyone? » gardenergirl, posted by daisym on February 17, 2005, at 0:11:51

That's a very good question. In the session, the two were connected. Actually, it made me cringe some of the connections my T made. (ewwwww kinda feeling). I have trouble with primal emotions, too. But I never used to have trouble about sex. I actually once had a very healthy sex life with an ex. That gg seems to have gone into hiding or disappeared entirely. When my T asked what happened, of course I remembered (I never forget, but I never think about unless asked) being date-raped. And then going into a bit of a tail spin afterwards. It's a time in my life that I feel ashamed about, but if I look at it objectively, it makes a lot of sense why. But the feeling is stronger than the rational approach. (Damn feelings!).

So anyway, we were talking in the session about my fear about aggressive acts and I mentioned "intruders" to my home. Um, you can make some connections there to more personal intrusions. And given that for a number of mechanical reasons, sex is initially painful for me (wish I hadn't skipped the thread about that earlier)...well I seem to think of sex as an intrusion, or (gasp) even a very personal violation. UGH! I really really hate that I think that way now. It's so not how I used to be. And it means there is quite a lot of baggage in the bed with me.

sigh, I think it's moving up higher on the list of issues to address, though

gg

 

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