Posted by Dinah on January 24, 2005, at 22:45:17
In reply to Re: t2 and the light » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on January 24, 2005, at 20:57:25
OK, got to tell you. Pleeease don't be honest with the people you love!!!! No No!!! Honesty is for the therapist who gets paid to hear it.
Especially don't be honest about passing thoughts. As a possibly schizotypal person, or maybe Aspergerish, there are times I don't feel things I think I should feel. As a person with Borderline tendencies, there are times when I feel things I'm reasonably sure I shouldn't feel. I don't burden the people I care about with those feelings. They're just that, feelings. Or lack of feelings. Whatever. They're mine to deal with.
Do I have a commitment to the people I care about? Absolutely. Does that commitment carry me through the times when I don't care about them or when I detest them? Absolutely. I don't always feel love, but I try to always *do* love. (It took my therapist ages to convince me that doing love is more important than feeling love. Of course, the payback is in the feeling love, not the doing, so I feel a bit shortchanged sometimes.)
When I'm in doubt I ask myself two questions. Is this a relationship I want to maintain? and Is what I'm about to say or do going to enhance the relationship (or perhaps harm it)?
And I ask myself what is the loving thing to *do*, whatever I may be *feeling*.
poster:Dinah
thread:446552
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050122/msgs/447126.html