Posted by Dinah on December 23, 2004, at 20:54:38
In reply to Re: Bringing PB into therapy » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on December 23, 2004, at 18:16:41
It's not my goal!!!
No, seriously (ok, I was being serious but still...) please don't blame my longsuffering therapist for that. My therapy ground completely to a halt for what was probably years - at least months, while I was completely absorbed by my fears of abandonment. My fears were perceived by him as a demand for forever therapy (as if I would ever feel able to *demand* anything from him). For the last few months of the struggle there was increasing tension between the two of us over the subject until we had a big blowout argument about it. At this time of year, come to think of it. I remember the office was mainly closed. During the argument he admitted he had trouble with dependent women.
Then, pouf. The arguments ceased. He stopped fighting the dependence, and that's when the process began to where it's now a teasing thing. My focus was able to change from terror at being abandoned to things outside therapy. It was like when you're pushing against something and it gives way, you stumble but then are able to stand upright? If that makes any sense.
I had always figured he got supervision, but he recently told me no. That he had just remembered that it never works to try to change someone without first accepting exactly who they are right now. Which led to some bristling on my part that he *did* expect me to change, and this was just a ploy to get me to change. But he remained calm and steady. Said that it was up to me whether I changed or not, and that he was ok if I never did change. Smart man. :)
And in addition to it being a clever therapeutic technique with a client who just can't get past fear of loss, Annierose is right. I'm a better wife and mom for having ongoing support for a hmmm... high strung disposition, shall we say.
My neurologist answered "Good, I'm glad to hear it." when I answered her question about how often I go to therapy. I told her that most people didn't seem to think it was good at all, and she answered that she tends to see too many people who are inadequately treated. And she was happy to see it when someone takes care of themself in whatever ways are helpful to them. I really like that doctor. :)
poster:Dinah
thread:432629
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041218/msgs/433579.html