Posted by Larry Hoover on November 5, 2004, at 11:40:36
In reply to Re: co-dependency » Larry Hoover, posted by sunny10 on November 5, 2004, at 10:54:32
> go ahead, Lar, use my name, too-- I think you've got it in one.
>
> The whole unconditional love feeling "distant" sounds sooooooo familiar, I'm SHOCKED that I think I didn't recognize it when it happened. My SO hardly ever asks me how my day at work went and seems surprised when I ask about his. His response on last Friday was, "it's the end of the month- I'm a mechanic- how do you think my day was?" I didn't see that it's possible that he was thinking, "you know what I do for a living and every day is about the same- did you need me to recount my every action or do you want to recount your every action on a regular day?- how odd and unnecessary"...
>
> Because my ex-husb wanted me to recount my entire day to maintain his "control"- I must have subconsciously been confused because my SO doesn't ask the same of me and I thought it was a sort of relationship ritual at the end of the day.
>
> Or, was I originally correct and he IS just a tad distant... Jeez, now I'm confusing myself again..
>
> -sunny10I think your example with your SO isn't what I'm talking about.
A person respectful of boundaries knows when something isn't their business. Some people just choose not to ask another what's up. Not caring to find out at all is different than waiting until you're invited to talk about things.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:409684
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041104/msgs/412124.html