Posted by Larry Hoover on November 4, 2004, at 14:22:06
In reply to Re: Fading away, posted by pegasus on November 2, 2004, at 13:38:50
> It's interesting, but I have both completely missing memories that other family members assure me really happened, and missing memories that are more like fuzzy times where I don't have the details anymore but I'm sure things happened.
>
> For an example of the latter, I had a bad year where certain things definitely happened, but I don't remember them. I saw a psychiatrist during that year, but I don't remember anything about seeing her except waiting for the bus to go to my appointments, and having a prescription from her rejected at the pharmacy because my insurance wouldn't cover it. Everything in between is gone. I somehow know that it was a woman that I saw, but I have no recollection of her at all. I couldn't tell you whether I saw her for 6 sessions (seems likely because of the insurance) or for the whole year.
>
> My family tells me that when we were kids my sister hit me on the forehead with a book which caused a big gash requiring stitches. I have no recollection of this, although I was old enough that I *should* remember going to the emergency room and everything. But no. If you asked me independently, I'd say it never happened. But I do have the scar.
>
> Memories are slippery beasts, indeed.
>
> pegasusOh, ain't that the truth.
There's another factor to consider, too. Some memories are state-dependent. In other words, they're locked away until you find yourself in a similar state of mind. A definition: "Learning that occurs in one state or affect or consciousness is best recalled in that same state of affect or consciousness."
State-dependent learning/recall may have saved my life.
I learned about firearms in a military organization, and became a marksman. I owned a rifle, and I stored it with a trigger lock, the magazine and cartridges stored separately, also under lock and key.
Three separate occasions, I was suicidal, and went for the rifle. I couldn't find the trigger-lock key, or the bullets. I couldn't carry out my plan. Yet, when my mood recovered, I could go straight to all the bits without the slightest hesitation. I only had a problem finding them when I was suicidal.
I finally told my psychiatrist about these episodes, and he convinced me to have the firearm destroyed. The police came to my home, to take the rifle et al away, and I couldn't find the bits. I was in that state again. I had to take the rest in to the police station a few weeks later.
I'm glad memory isn't like a tape recorder or a hard drive.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:409684
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041104/msgs/411750.html