Posted by Aphrodite on October 4, 2004, at 19:53:14
In reply to My Therapy Dilemma/Racer too (very long), posted by antigua on October 4, 2004, at 13:59:32
I don't know if you've followed any of my saga, but I quit every once in awhile when the csa comes up and I feel like I can't manage my life and deal with the past at the same time. I know that feeling. I'm so sorry about your accident -- I'm glad you are safe.
It sounds like you have some guilt that taking care of yourself (e.g. therapy) may cause harm to your children. That can be a powerful deterrant in taking care of yourself if you believe it is effecting you as a mother. I've been struggling with that, too.
Apparently (and I haven't figured it out) there are good ways of "dosing" the work of csa so that the overwhelm doesn't have such an impact on your life. Does your T have any suggestion in this area?
Would you be willing to compromise and just end the EMDR (which can be powerful and retraumatizing) and see just how individual sessions go for awhile?
Or, could you take a break and work on forward-looking issues for a bit? You know, talk about future plans, what your dreams are, etc.
I'm just trying to brainstorm a compromise other than totally quitting. Maybe I am doing this more for myself than you. (Selfishness creeping in -- your post hit a nerve of my ongoing struggles with therapy.)
At the end of the day, what is your instinct and intuition on the matter? What resolution brings you peace? Some people use prayer, some use Tarot cards, some meditate -- tap into your innate intuition and do what feels like your personal truth. Only then will you feel satisfied.
Wow, I wish I could help. My heart is aching for you.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:398836
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/398959.html