Posted by fallsfall on October 4, 2004, at 15:33:40
In reply to My Therapy Dilemma/Racer too (very long), posted by antigua on October 4, 2004, at 13:59:32
Your post left me with a couple of concerns. I don't think I understand your situation enough to do more than just ask questions...
You said that you were running into transference with your EMDR therapist. And it sounds like it is a transference that is familiar to you. If you find yourself in this pattern frequently then you might want to consider staying in therapy long enough to work through it. I guess my fear would be that you will continue to end up in the same situation (and know that it *is* the same situation yet again), but not be able to resolve it. For me, that would be really frustrating.
Second, you talk about being angry at your therapist because she didn't protect you (and you recognize the connection with your mom). You seem to be saying "My therapist has proven once again that nobody can or will protect me, that I am completely on my own." This seems like a dangerous message to get from therapy. While you are ultimately responsible for yourself, I think that it is true that other people can and do help us. You seem resigned to being unable to be helped - like you won't seek help in the future because you are convinced that they would let you down. Have you talked to your therapist about pacing the therapy work, so you don't get so overwhelmed? Can you see the "out of control" as a recoverable mistake, rather than destiny?
But, at the same time, it does sound like you are functioning - and that sounds really good. I'm not functioning, so I can't imagine quitting therapy. Would your issues agree to stay hidden if you did quit therapy? Or would they rise up and surprise you?
I guess that my overall reaction is that you might do fine if you quit therapy, but that the transference issues that you talk about make me wonder if this is really the time to do so. Could you take a therapy vacation? If you left therapy and it turned out to be a bad idea, could you go back? If you decided to go back, how much connection/momentum/trust would you have lost during the quitting process?
This is a complex decision. Good luck!
poster:fallsfall
thread:398836
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/398877.html