Posted by LG04 on September 6, 2004, at 18:27:54
In reply to Re: confession regarding therapist... » Pandabear, posted by Skittles on September 6, 2004, at 17:05:41
Pandabear, I too drove by my therapist's house. I told her about it. She wasn't angry at all. She said she understood. I wanted a picture in my head of where she lives, where she is when we are speaking on the phone, etc. She said she could see that it helped me to internalize her. Also I was ready to learn this about her (what her house looks like). For me, it was also in connection to knowing that we would probably be terminating soon. I think that's what is driving your obsession. It's like your therapist is soon going to become unavailable to you and you are trying to grasp at anything you can to hold on to her. The obsession is a symptom of something deeper...for this reason, I think it could be very helpful to tell your therapist. But I hesitate to give advice b/c I do not know your therapist or your relationship with her.
I do know that I was terrified to tell my therapist. First I had driven in her neighborhood and when I finally told her that, she was totally okay with it. but driving by her house felt like a worse intrusion. I was terrified (and embarassed) to tell her about it. But finally I did b/c I felt I was holding in a secret from her and it was interfering in my feelings of intimacy and closeness with her. It was very helpful for me to tell her, and I haven't had a need to go by her house since.
I was also worried about her feeling intruded upon, and I told her this, how guilty I felt about it. And she asked me, "Did you drive by in order to be intrusive?" And I said, of course not. And she said, so then it wasn't intrusive. She understood my motives and that made a big difference.
Let us know what happens. But really, you are not a bad person. I've seen other threads here where people did this, and also googled their therapist (which I also did, and actually I didn't tell her about this, but I feel okay about not having told her), and so on. For me, it was always when I wanted to feel closer to her somehow, to know her better.
Rest assured, what you did is not at all unusual.
Laurie
poster:LG04
thread:387227
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040905/msgs/387303.html