Posted by Skittles on September 6, 2004, at 17:05:41
In reply to confession regarding therapist..., posted by Pandabear on September 6, 2004, at 16:10:17
Pandabear, let me start out by saying that nothing I put in this post is meant to diminish your pain. What you are feeling must be just terrible and I wish I had the magic words to make you feel better.
I simply don't think what you've done is bad in any way, shape, or form. You used public information and public property, etc. If it makes you feel better to know it, I have used the Internet to find: where T lives, husband's name, line of work and office location, names of children and where they go to school, where she goes to church, her maiden name, wedding date, and her parents' names and where they live (different city). And I didn't even have to get creative to find it. I have driven by her house 1 time and that was just to see what it looks like. See, if there was ever an information freak, it's me!!
I think the reason I have this "need" to know is that this person is learning about the very core of who I am and giving me advice and I know nothing about her. Is she like me or very different from me? What are her moral and religious convictions? It's important to me to put my well being in the hands of someone who has a similar belief system. As a Christian, I wouldn't want to be counselled by an atheist. I wouldn't want a single person giving me marital advice or a non-parent telling me how to parent. The things I've learned are helping me to feel more connected to her. I would NEVER use the information in any way other than that. She shows me a great deal of respect, and I respect her privacy and will not interfere in her life when she is not at the office. I won't even leave a message with her answering service after hours b/c I feel like it's HER family time and I don't want to intrude on that.
Still, I wouldn't tell her I've done it. We are relatively new together and I think it's highly likely that she wouldn't feel as comfortable as I do about it (grin). After all, she can't really know what's in my head, only I have that information. So, since I know I would never DO anything with the information, I don't feel bad about it and I don't feel bad about not telling her. It's already served the purpose for which I felt I needed it.
Panda, it doesn't sound like you'd do anything with the information either. It seems that maybe actually drving by is what makes you feel the worst? If so, maybe you could try to stop? I don't know what happened with your other friend, but maybe you could think back to what went wrong there and try not to repeat the behavior with your T? Or maybe just tell your T that you are feeling obsessive about her and leave it at that? Could the obsession be the thing that's really bothering you, and not the information you have about her?
If anyone thinks I'm way off base, please DO chime in.
poster:Skittles
thread:387227
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040905/msgs/387256.html