Posted by lucy stone on September 3, 2004, at 8:45:18
In reply to not replying- lucy stone, posted by Pfinstegg on September 3, 2004, at 7:10:47
> I find that it hurts me that, after pointing out in a rather critical manner an error in my attempt to communicate with you, and after I acknowledge my (slight) misstatement, and try to write my thoughts more accurately, you do not reply to me. This has happened at least twice; it hurt more this last time because it appears to be an on-going pattern. Part of the hurt is the gradual realization on my part that while, as the only two persons in analysis posting on this board, I have made several empathic and supportive comments to you, and had hoped that we would together be able to let more people know what a powerful and life-transforming experience analysis can be, your comments, which appear directed to me although there is never a name on them, appear completely void of similiar positive thoughts or feelings. Once it is clear to me what feelings people are expressing towards me here, I never read their posts again if they do not contain at least some positive, helpful, or empathic ones.
Pfinstegg, I am sorry that you are hurt by my non-reply. If I am reading your post correctly, you feel that I didn't reply because I am deliberately ignoring you. I am sorry that you fell that way. The reality is that I sometimes take a very long time to reply to posts because I want to think carefully on my answer and make sure I am saying what I want to say. I have been doing that in this thread because I think I am a bit conflicted about the topic. I don't think I believe that everyone has dissociated states or different ego states, not even all people who have been abused. I don't think my analyst thinks that, and I wanted to ask him yesterday but we were too busy talking about other issues to get to it. I don't think I know enough to get in an intelligent discussion about it, and I don't want to hurt inadvertently with a post. I think it is better for me to remain silent than to post an ignorant and inadvertantly hurtful comment. Also, I have a very busy life like many people do. I can occaisionally look at posts at work but don't often have time to reply. Yesterday I was out of my house from 7 AM until 10 PM, and didn't have time to post here. Again, I am sorry if you felt I was deliberatly not answering you. As for analysis, it has been a very powerful experience for me and it is life-transforming, but I hesitate to post that. Analysis is not for everyone and not everyone can be helped by it. A more complicated issue is that the vast majority of people will not have the time or money to undergo an analysis. My insurance pays for 24 visits a year, which I use up in six weeks of 4 times/week analysis. I pay the remainder of the costs out of my pocket. I think there are very, very few posters here who could pay for 4 therapy sessions a week! Doing an analysis with someone in training is an option for some, but in my medium sized city there is no analytic training institute so that is just not on option here. There are 6 working analysts in my metropolitin area of over 1 million, so access is also limited in that way. There is also the time factor. I work for my husband and he is very supportive of my analysis. I work part time in order to allow me to leave 4 times a week and go to sessions. Sometimes when I come back I have to close my office door for the remainder of the day and work in privacy because I don't trust myself to be around people. The whole red, swollen eye thinng, you know. My husband understands why I do that, but it wouldn't be possible in losts of other work settings. I just feel very uncomfortable telling people that analysis is wonderful (it is, for me), knowing that many will never have the opportunity to do it. I probably deliberately downplay my positive feelings about analysis primarily for that reason. I'm sorry again if I hurt you, that was not by intention.
poster:lucy stone
thread:385420
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/385942.html