Posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2004, at 18:45:16
In reply to Re: discovering anger and hostility for the first, posted by LauraG on August 28, 2004, at 16:56:11
wow, thanks everyone. I guess that I am afraid of flying off the handle if I experience anger too much. Actually there was this one time when I was an inpatient and one of the ward councellors decided to have this 'and this is what is wrong with you' talk to me. I remember her going on and on, criticising and attacking me and saying things that I thought demonstrated just how little she actually did know anything about me. I could feel myself dissociating and kept thinking 'stoppit, just stoppit' over and over and then something snapped and I flew at her. I just wanted to make her stop. I think I was throwing punches at her, but I don't think I actually hurt her, my behaviour was too disorganised. When people jumped on me I just curled up into a little ball on the ground and wailed. Oh do I cringe when I remember that one. I think that I am learning that anger is okay, but it is this rage that terrifies me. I just want to attack and criticise and winge and moan, oh and to hurt my T at the moment. It makes me sad to write this. I wish the rage would go away, or at least be directed at me.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:383161
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/383431.html