Posted by alexandra_k on August 27, 2004, at 20:41:52
I know this will probably sound like I am in denial or something (and indeed I might be) but I don't remember having ever felt angry / hostile before. Typically when something happens which would result in most people feeling angry, I feel really sad instead. But over the last week or so I have really felt like I have been raging inside. I am not sure what to do about it, and I am not so sure how to cope with it because I haven't been aware of this before. I only figured out that I am feeling this way because my T noticed that I was directing a fair bit of it at her. I feel really sorry and embarrassed and ashamed about this. Maybe what the problem is is that most of the significant people that I have had in my life have gotten sick of me, and so maybe I am hating her in anticipation that she will repeat this cycle for me. Our relationship is a bit tenuous at the moment so I am worried that I will frighten her away. Maybe thats what I want, so I can prove to myself that I really am unacceptable to others. Why isn't figuring all this out helping the anger go away, though??
poster:alexandra_k
thread:383161
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040821/msgs/383161.html