Posted by LauraG on August 28, 2004, at 16:56:11
In reply to Re: discovering anger and hostility for the first time » alexandra_k, posted by antigua on August 28, 2004, at 10:47:14
Yes, I tend to stuff my anger too! My T and I have discovered that really I have a lot of anger toward my mom for her being REALLY angry all the time when I was little and she would withhold love and affection if I was ever mad. I have anger at my dad too. But it is next to impossible to actually "experience it" now in therapy like my T says I need to in order to get rid of it. I have been mad at my T and talked about being mad at my husband. She then launches into the exercise I really dislike where she asks, "How do you experience your anger? What do you feel to do with it?" In other words, what do I feel like doing TO the person I am angry at. And it seems that she wants to hear the worst possible stuff as if I'm some murderer. She says I have "murderous rage" which is just disturbing to hear. When I fight with my husband I would never ever consider making something a weapon or even hitting him with my hand. My T wants me to "picture in my mind" doing things like that though. It's SO weird and she knows I don't like this exercise.
Gosh, I hope I don't scare anyone away from embracing your anger! I really do think it is very important to express anger in a healthy way. I guess my T is trying to help me do that by first releasing some of the anger I've been spending so much energy stuffing down for 34 years. It is very very hard to do. I'm not sure she really understands how hard it feels for me. I have told her.
Does anyone else have to go through uncomfortable exercises to get to their anger?
poster:LauraG
thread:383161
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/383396.html