Posted by daisym on August 22, 2004, at 21:30:41
In reply to Re: The real Dinah » Dinah, posted by gardenergirl on August 22, 2004, at 19:59:33
I think being genuine really means knowing yourself and DECIDING when and with whom you "let it all hang out." I don't want most people to see my vulnerabilities or my deep feelings. It is sort of like talking about sex...there are few people I really do that with. It is a difference in depth. There is surface me, and then there is inner me. I think the more I know myself and have accepted all parts of me, the better I can regulate those parts in any given situation.
I think that is the real value in being genuine. It allows you to choose, and to change. It is harder to change (and grow) if you are meeting everyone else's needs. Because who you are is dictated by who you think they want you to be. And if they change their mind, (grow too), you have to "guess" for awhile to become who you think they want again. It is much easier to know yourself but govern your action.
You and I have talked about marital fights. We both choose mostly to walk away. BUT, we know why we choose that and where we draw the line in the sand. That is a genuine choice. It works for the main part of ourselves for private reasons.
I think you are on a path to authenticity that gets painful sometimes. I'm on that same path. The "real" you needs to make the journey. But, you aren't going to ever find the cave that the "real" you is hiding in. Because the journey is what it's about, not the destination.
Hugs from me.
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:380351
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040821/msgs/381042.html