Posted by shrinking violet on August 22, 2004, at 11:51:33
In reply to Re: Birthday gift for T? OK or no? » Dinah, posted by Lonely on August 20, 2004, at 20:10:21
> You've touched on something that has been in the back of my mind so I'd like to get some feedback from you and others if that's ok.
>
So, what is the value of going through the hassle? In my case I can't honestly say it helped me with other relationships unless deciding finally to say 'nough and move on is the answer. After all, I'm paying for therapy.
>
> So, when to leave and when not to leave - that is the question.
>>>> That is a good question. I'm wondering that myself. I think if i weren't so attached to her, and dread losing her as it is (I can't see her anymore once I graduate, which will most likely be in December) so I feel like I want to stay with her for as long as I can since I don't have the luxury of stayign with her until I'm therapeutically ready. Maybe that isn't the best reason, but there it is. Also, for good or not, she's made me start to face some of my stuff, even if indirectly. My insides feel like they've been stirred up, but the feeling won't stop ( sort of like a whirlpool, maybe). I feel like if I left her now, before I'm more settled on the inside, it would be too much to live with (it is often now too much, as it is....and at least I know she's there if I really needed her). I guess I'm hoping that by the time I graduate, some of the crappy feelings I have inside will settle down a bit....but I'm really afraid they won't, so I think that fear keeps me with her also. Not to say she isnt a good T in a lot of ways, and when sessions are good they are very good, adn I know that any problems we have is because of my inability to verbalize and her frustration in regards to that. I feel like me and my sessions are hassle for her (even when she says it isnt)....I question how she could possibly care about me, or like me, when I make her job nearly impossible?
I guess I'm not the best person to answer this question... :-/
Plus, I dont pay my T directly (she's a T at the Uni where I'm a grad student and Counseling services are free to students, although I suppose I do pay her indirectly through tuition). If I were paying her, I would have been out of there a long time ago.
Are you having this problem now, or is it something that's happened before (or both)?
-SV
poster:shrinking violet
thread:378642
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040821/msgs/380823.html