Posted by crushedout on April 4, 2004, at 12:18:42
In reply to Re: i can't find the words » crushedout, posted by Pfinstegg on April 4, 2004, at 12:05:06
you're so right, pfinstegg. this thread has taught me a very important lesson about why i SI. you put it very well.
> I think you've understood something very important- that dissociation precedes the SI urges. The dissociation -the 'escape when there is no escape"- occurs in all of us when the pain we are experiencing becomes too great to bear. Even before we begin to dissociate, we don't really know why we are feeling so much pain; after we have dissociated, we know even less- we feel numb, empty and wordless- and the SI becomes a way to express the pain in a primitive, non-verbal way- the only way we may feel we have when we are dissociated.
>
> Words and communication are your best allies. Writing down everything you can can be helpful; you can read it to your therapist later, or ask her to read it while you are with her. You can telephone her when you need to, and try to put these feelings into words; sometimes writing things out just before you call can help with getting words for the feelings. You can also do non-verbal, comforting things for yourself while you are waiting to talk to your therapist- such as listening to calming music (Mozart is very good), having a favorite hot drink, a warm bath, a massage, even.
>
> Just knowing you have other resources available to you even when you are in so much pain can help you take good care of the most important and valuable person - YOU.
poster:crushedout
thread:332291
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040402/msgs/332490.html