Posted by Dinah on February 18, 2004, at 10:07:23
In reply to Re: You're all easy graders » fallsfall, posted by DaisyM on February 17, 2004, at 23:23:44
> And I'm worried that I'll find out that the little kid inside me is a brat and deserved some of what she got.
That really resonates with me... It's got a lot to do with the work my therapist and I are doing lately.
But I can say it more positively for you than I can for myself. Your little kid inside didn't deserve anything but love and support and all the things little kids deserve.
I wonder if the conditions some of us experienced growing up caused us to be as scared of our little kids as we were of the grownups around us. And now faced with the most vulnerable, most innocent parts of us, we're absolutely terrified. Vulnerability and innocence have hurt me in the past. Will they hurt me again?
Caring has hurt me in the past. Without caring, all my parents can do is mouth words and hurt my body. The part of me that cares is scarier than the parents who hurt me. Because only the caring made the hurt possible. Doesn't that make the caring part of me at fault?
I'm sorry. Clearly I've made this more about me than you, but I hope some small part of it will help you see that the little girl inside deserves nothing but the best, and that life is different now than it was then. You can't be hurt quite the same way.
poster:Dinah
thread:314418
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040218/msgs/315105.html