Posted by Karen_kay on February 1, 2004, at 13:46:02
In reply to Re: My therapist sometimes refuses to answer me » Karen_kay, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2004, at 12:46:25
But, again we aren't cookies... Each therapist has to establish a certain set of guidelines for each client. And those guidelines (boundaries) must shift when needed. Looser or stricter. (The case with mine, I believe has nothing to do with my therapist's boundaries. It has everything to do with finding a therapist more "equipped" to handle longer termed clients.)
Of course it makes us believe we have a different relationship with our therapist then we really do. I like to believe that Bubba and I are really friends, that we are truly connected in some way. But, in reality we aren't. Once therapy is over, I'll never see him again. I'll give him the occasional phone call, as well as a card every once in a while. That's the illusion of therapy. You can make believe that you have some sort of "friendship" or relationship and you divulge all of you feelings to a stranger. A stranger who helps you sort things out. But in reality, there really isn't a friendship or realionship at all. Sure, you may be the favorite client, but there really isn't hope for much else in the future.
A like to think of my therapist as an actor. He play the role of my friend. My friend who I will eventually lose contact with in the future. I know it will be hard, but he's helping me to be a better person. So, the fact that I'll lose him doesn't seem so bad. At least he will help me while I have him here now.
I think that therapists have to bend the rules for clients. We aren't all the same. They aren't seeing the same clients with the same problems day after day. If he treated me that same way he treated you, what hope would I have of getting any better? His personal disclosures burden me only to the effect that I allow them to.
And what's the harm in feeling special? Isn't that what everyone wants? I hope that he makes all of his clients believe that they are his favorite clients. I don't mind that a bit. Everyone deserves to feel special, as everyone is. (Uh, oh... The real Karen is starting to show.... Must push her back...) I just think that every client needs something from their therapist and his/her job is to find out what that something is.
I had a thought that therapy is just a person replaying every relatioship that a person ever had and saying just the right thing that the client needed to hear at that time. A therapist needs to break the rules at times (IMO) to say what needs to be said.
poster:Karen_kay
thread:308062
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/308146.html