Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2004, at 12:46:25
In reply to Re: My therapist sometimes refuses to answer me, posted by Karen_kay on February 1, 2004, at 12:23:45
No, I'm not worried about my therapist not responding. I'm worried that so many therapists seem to be violating boundaries established by the profession to protect clients. In each case, it might appear that a special exception was made in the best therapeutic interests of the client. But taken together it is worrisome to me.
Of course we want our therapists to answer our questions. It makes us feel special, it makes us feel like they care about us, it makes it feel like more than a professional relationship.
My therapist is even more Southern than I am. I think that's why I bonded so well with him. He understands the conventions of gallantry and nonconfrontational confrontations. When he is at his most genuine and most emotionally engaged, he drawls the southern drawl that it would appear he has carefully tried to minimize. I try for that drawl. I feel wonderful when I get that drawl. It makes me feel special. It makes me feel like he's emotionally connected to me, even if he's angry, and I like that. I think that's natural.
But is it in our best interests? Really? Does it lead us to think that we have a different sort of relationship with our therapists than we really do? Does it affect our behaviors with them in an artificial way? Does it burden us with knowledge that we shouldn't be burdened with in a relationship that is entirely for our own benefit, with monetary compensation as the only benefit to the therapist. Are the rules really bad? Is it really good for therapists to bend them, or do we just like it?
I'm not talking about any one in particular Karen. Although your therapist's talk of his supervisor telling him that he might need to transfer his long term clients to someone more experienced is an example of the sort of fallout that can happen from boundary crossings.
I have always been a huge supporter of telling our therapists anything and everything we think or feel, in the expectation that they will handle the knowledge appropriately. I just am seeing a trend where therapists are handling the knowledge, perhaps not appropriately, but enough out of generally accepted professional norms to cause me concern.
poster:Dinah
thread:308062
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/308123.html