Posted by Karen_kay on February 1, 2004, at 12:23:45
In reply to My therapist sometimes refuses to answer me, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2004, at 9:11:53
Weeeellll.... Are you concerned because you therapist doesn't always answer your questions? Or are you concerned because some of our therapists answer too many questions?
I know that I worry about my therapist all the time, but it isn't because I know he sits around the house in his underpants or because he thinks about clients when he masturbates. It's because of things he disclosed on his own. His fault, not mine. I worry about him because he cleans the house himself and he doesn't get enough sleep. I worry about him because he had a cough for a while. I worry about him because he didn't wear a tie. Yet, I worry that I have cancer. And I worry that I have AIDS. And I worry that my sister isn't taking good enough care of MY niece. And I worry that I'm infertile. Yes, I spend my days worrying...
But, most importantly, if I didn't worry about my therapist, I'd really be worried because it would mean I didn't care about him.... And that would really worry me..
I know that my therapist answers my questions with my well being in mind. When he answers my questions, he knows why I am asking them. I ask him these questions to prove that he's human. To prove that he's not some sort of mytsical being. I also ask the "sex" questions to prove that sex is OK. To know that it's fine to think about whatever or whoever you want.I think my therapist's boundaries are fine. His self disclosures may be slanted a bit, but they are in my interest, for the most part. He's rather new at this and just learning. I'm the guinea pig, so to speak. And as long as I don't end up in some sort of book or research paper, I'm fine with that :)
I really think that his disclosures have my best interests at heart. They aren't off-handed (for the most part. OK, the cleaning naked was a bit much. I'll give you that one) they pertain to my life and help humanize the feelings I'm having and the struggles I'm facing. I do have a lot of sexual issues and he helps to ease the guilt I face upon having sex with my boyfriend. (Not that he's in the room or anything :))
His approach is rather different and unique. Maybe he'll learn from me not to be so open. I'm fairly certain he isn't like that with his other clients. But, I appreciate his honesty. It truly has helped me to trust him. And to be able to talk to him about my past. Honestly, if he wasn't so open, I don't think I'd be able to be so open with him about the "embarrassing and shameful" things I had to endure when I was a child. His honesty has truly helped me to open up. If I was talking to a stuffed shirt, I'd still be a resistant child who refused to listen and just wasted time talking about nothing.
poster:Karen_kay
thread:308062
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/308116.html