Posted by gardenergirl on January 30, 2004, at 22:02:16
In reply to Re: What it's like » gardenergirl, posted by Racer on January 30, 2004, at 21:52:48
Racer,
Thanks for the additional info. and for helping me to understand.
>
> more that the environment inhibited the expression of strong emotions, usually utilizing shame as a weapon.This is very well put. I think that helps clarify for me.
> The end result, though, was generally a feeling of being filled to overflowing with emotions that had to come out somehow. For myself, it was self starvation, so I'll try to tell you something about that. (I do think they come from the same place, just expressed differently.)I would agree with that. And the way you described that cry to be seen creates a mental and emotional picture in me.
> You know what? If I had to give you advice about dealing with this client, it would be really simple: ask her if she knows of anything that can be helpful to her. Ask her if she wants to talk about it, ask her if she wants to build up to it, and respect her response. Validation doesn't mean saying, "I understand that you're in pain," necessarily, it can be experienced in a lot of different ways.Always the best way to go, but sometimes I forget or get caught up in my own agenda.
>
> Speaking for myself, I never trust anyone who says something non-specific. I don't trust the "you'll be just fine" type of comfort, but I do trust "well, you are able to have insights as proven by [x], which is likely to lead to progress [y]" feedback. I guess that's being honest and matter of fact. (Of course, in my case, it's still part of the pathology... Oh, well...)
If that's pathology, then I share it. I always want to really understand the why's and how's. I rarely take anything on blind faith.Thanks again. It means a lot to me that so many of you are willing to talk about your own painful experiences in order to help me understand.
Take care,
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:307246
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/307553.html