Posted by cubic_me on January 30, 2004, at 10:42:01
I really respected my T - we had misunderstandings but nothing too bad. I thought she really understood self injury, and me. But it feels like she's turned on me.
I felt really disconnected from the session yesterday. I felt quite good for the first time in a while, and wanted to stay that way. But I came out feeling useless and like I'd wasted the session - and I wanted to cut.
She said she thought I must be cutting because I enjoyed keeping things from other people and I liked the thrill of not being found out, but being close. I cut for the pain and the blood - I hate having these stupid scars to hide all the time.
She didn't understand how I thought SI was helping me cope at the moment. I'd probably be dead without it. She seemed really frustrated and I don't think either of us wanted to be there.
I haven't felt this low for so long, and I hate it :(
poster:cubic_me
thread:307246
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/307246.html