Posted by Dinah on January 24, 2004, at 8:40:28
In reply to Re: A Long Time » fallsfall, posted by DaisyM on January 23, 2004, at 22:58:32
> Don't you wish we could just push through it and be done with it? It is this starting/stopping, backing up, turning around and THEN moving forward that is really making me nuts!
>Daisy, you're really reading my mind today. I was going to say to Fallsfall that I think all her therapist was trying to tell her was to go a bit easier on herself. Fallsfall, if last session he told you that he thought it was a good goal for you to be able to tolerate a loss of control, and by this session you were terrified at the prospect, I imagine that he was just trying to reassure you that it didn't have to happen at once. That you could do it at a pace that would optimize your discomfort. :)
I imagine what Daisy said is true for most people. Not me, of course. I resent being pushed even by myself. And I'd be dancing at any mention of a long time by my therapist, so that I didn't have to feel I had him grabbed by the ankles and pinned down to scheduling appointments.
But I don't think traditional therapy works that way. You can't plough through it. You do go forward and back as you consolidate your gains and make them part of you. Quick changes of longstanding defense systems would probably crumble at the first severe stressor. Because when we're feeling awful, we go for the tried and true. I know dissociation is my best tool, so I use it even when it isn't the most appropriate tool. It takes a while to learn to use, and more importantly, to reach for new tools without a lot of thought or effort in time of trouble.
So settle in and enjoy the journey. And no, you aren't there yet. :) But you're passing gorgeous scenery while you're looking at the brochures of your destination.
poster:Dinah
thread:304828
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/304934.html