Posted by Karen_kay on December 12, 2003, at 15:59:46
In reply to Re: Karen's rant (this n's good) » Karen_kay, posted by DaisyM on December 12, 2003, at 15:04:25
For some reason, the part of him laying his head on my chest and crying just seemed so very familiar to me..... God... But again the funny thing about dreams is that they can seem so familiar that they leave you wondering sometimes. It was just so strange. As soon as I said his name I knew the person was going to turn into him and I was so very scared..... And I jumped up to run and I fell down. And I knew what was coming and I couldn't stop it...I think this is the worst dream I've ever had. But, the position in the dream is the same as the flashback I had a couple (??) of months ago..
He didn't wear aftershave.... But, I did remember the bathroom door sound.. it is a start... But, I don't care either way if my dad is or isn't sorry.. I still want to deny it ever happened. I just want to start over with a new, perfect daddy, like my therapist. Yes, I think he's perfect. If my dad were alive today I don't thik I would ever speak to him. If I had to see him I would just pretend like "Everything is OK..." I just don't understand what happened? What did I do wrong? I loved my dad so very much, you really can't understand. When I started therapy even, my first day.. the worst day of my life was when my dad died. I just don't get it... I hate the stupid holidays. And I hate stupid parents who screw their kids up. All I ever did was love him, and what did he do to me in return? This is crap. Thanks dad....
poster:Karen_kay
thread:288100
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/289187.html