Posted by Dinah on October 6, 2003, at 14:04:42
In reply to I wouldn't (couldn't) tell him, posted by fallsfall on October 6, 2003, at 13:51:07
((((Fallsfall)))
Ouch. I can tell you're hurting. Don't let it overwhelm you. Or at least try not to. Here's the time for some self-soothing skills. Distraction maybe?
My approach when this sort of thing happens, and yes, it happens to me too, is to write a long long letter to him telling him all the things I want to tell him. Slightly different than journalling because it's addressed to him. Then I take a klonopin, fall to sleep, and call him once or twice to demand reassurance that everything will be ok. All right, so my way isn't all that healthy.
For what it's worth, it doesn't sound like he's angry about the searching. I think he just wanted to talk about it, and about the why, and what you were thinking, etc. He knows that it was central to losing your last therapeutic relationship, so I'm sure he just wants to process it. And he does press when he wants you to address something, doesn't he. :) That's not altogether a bad thing.
Don't worry. We all search for our therapists. I search for my doctors too. And other people in authority over me. I always want to make sure there are no axe murderers among them. Who among us hasn't searched on Dr. Bob? He won't fire you for that. Or if he does, he'll have to fire everyone. It's public record.
(P.S. That's why we all use pseudonyms on Babble. It shows up in Google searches too. Do a search on Fallsfall and prepare to be dismayed. :) )
poster:Dinah
thread:265991
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/265995.html