Posted by Tabitha on October 5, 2003, at 20:36:54
In reply to Re: More conflict with my therapist, posted by HannahW on October 5, 2003, at 0:54:08
Thanks. I know I left out many details of the story-- it's hard to even sort out. I'm kind of embarrassed to say what the issues are. She says I hate men. I just can't own this feeling. Now if I have any complaint toward men, she turns my complaint back against me.She's gotten really confrontational with my reactions to the men in the group. I don't get this. I actually like one of them, feel neutral toward one, and am having a little hard time with one-- but it isn't a feeling of dislike. He just seems needy and reminds me of my 'ex' and it's unpleasant for me to have that brought up. Maybe I'm just not supposed to complain about group members. Then I start feeling like we're in a little cult where nobody can say anything negative, or have a bad feeling. She never minded me complaining endlessly about other people in my life.
The other thing is I was drinking some, and she said I was doing it to act out my anger toward her, which didn't seem right to me. I was depressed, lonely, and bored, but it didn't feel like it was an attempt to hurt her. I was just trying to medicate the feelings-- get that little temporary mood boost. I know it's a short term gain type of thing.
And I was trying to get a trip together to visit a male friend, and have lunch with another guy, and neither of these guys is mate material (one is taken, the other is just not very attractive to me) and she's pressuring me to not see either of them, and do personal ads instead. But I feel that the trip and the lunch will still help me out of my loneliness and social rut at this point. One is an old college friend, and one is a professional colleague-- so I think there are possibilities for relationships there besides dating. She just seemed so diappointed that I'd put energy there instead of doing personal ads. Like that's going to lead quickly to my perfect mate. Like having a mate is the answer for me now. I would like a mate, but if I had a choice between a mate and an adequate social circle, I'd take the social circle.
I could go on and on. It just seems like every issue that comes up we're arguing about. I'm not feeling understood, and feeling unfairly labelled with stuff that I can't own.
poster:Tabitha
thread:265641
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/265788.html