Posted by fallsfall on September 13, 2003, at 22:49:50
In reply to fallsfall, posted by kara lynne on September 13, 2003, at 19:46:06
Kara,
There is ice cream and there is ice cream. On a day that I'm feeling really good I try a new kind (Cherry Jubilee, or Banana). If I'm doing OK, I'll get Mint Chocolate Chip, or Moose Tracks. The next step down is chocolate ice cream with something (preferably chocolate) in it. The next step is a hot fudge sundae with Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. Then a Large Hot Fudge Sundae with Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Marshmallow and nuts. I feel better just talking about it.
I'm sorry that it is so hard for you. Your life shouldn't be so hard.
One thing I learned last week (? - I can't remember when or what the details were, but at least I remember the lesson...) was that when my emotional reaction is unreasonable given the circumstances that those emotions are "old" emotions. Something in the present is reminding me of something in the past, and the past was painful. So the pain I feel is the pain from the past. And the current situation (while it might be painful) doesn't *by itself* generate that much pain. When I can recognize that I can start to separate the old pain from the current situation, and then the current situation can start to feel more reasonable. I'm not sure if I need to know what it was in my past that caused the pain, or if it is enough just to know that something did.
Your description of yourself sounds like you are depressed. (((((Kara))))) It is no, no fun. If it is sunny tomorrow try to take a walk, even a very short walk (to the corner and back). Better yet, come take my dogs for a walk, they are always funny and love to go on walks, and for some reason their owner never gets out to take them for a walk... I wish I could make you (and me!) all better. All I know is that we should take care of ourselves, do nice things for ourselves, be patient, and eat ice cream. Swinging is good, too. A couple of years ago a dear, dear friend made me a swing to put in my tree. I found a ladder and hung it, but it wasn't level - so every time you swinged (swang? swung?) you went in a curve instead of straight ahead. I was walking through my yard today to see how many more sticks need to be picked up before I mow my lawn for the first time this year (gotta do it before the leaves fall...). I wanted to swing, and I had the brilliant idea of changing the length of the chain from the bottom instead of the top (since I don't have a ladder). So now I can swing in my own yard. No, I didn't swing much today, the mosquitos were out - I need to go out earlier in the day.
So try to remember that it probably isn't HIM that you are missing. It is someone from your past. I hope this can help.
I hate it when people tell me I sound better when I don't feel better. But someone told me recently that other people can hear it before we can feel it. So maybe the future will be brighter.
P.S. Don't call him 8^)
poster:fallsfall
thread:258785
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/259807.html