Posted by Mark H. on July 9, 2002, at 16:17:43
In reply to Anyone interested in CBT? Let's talk!, posted by MattDDS on July 7, 2002, at 13:48:14
Hi Dr. Matt,
Welcome, and thank you for your enthusiastic posts about cognitive therapy. I would like to know more about the self-talk and behavioral techniques you've found to be most effective. Also, perhaps you could offer a more general description of the theory and practice for those here who have no background at all with cognitive therapy.
Once I found the right mix of meds for me (after four years of trials with more than 25 different anti-depressant and adjunctive medications), then I could begin healing in therapy. Prior to that -- during the most severe periods of depression -- I simply couldn't concentrate enough to benefit from any form of therapy.
After the meds kicked in, I saw a counselor who specialized in cognitive therapy for depression. I had weekly sessions with him for nine months. Perhaps the most important thing I gained from that time can be described by one question:
"Is it realistic for me to think that other people share my values and beliefs about [whatever was bothering me]?"
(Hint to readers: the answer is always "no.")
Note that the question is NOT, "SHOULD other people behave in a certain way?" but rather, "Is it REALISTIC to think that they will?"
One of my goals was to overcome being angry with people who drive dangerously. If someone cut me off on the freeway or was tail-gating another car at 80 mph, I would become so flushed with adrenaline that sometimes it would keep me awake half the night! Obviously, my anger didn't add any positive value to the situation -- it just made me feel worse.
My counselor suggested a simple trick of the mind: everyone else who drives on the road is my mother. For several months, when another driver did something foolish or dangerous, I'd say, "Mom! Take some driving lessons! You're scaring me with your bad driving!" Over time, this trick of thinking dissolved my previously uncontrollable and instantaneous reaction of excessive anger. The "charge" I had about bad drivers just faded away, and my own driving improved.
For those reading this who want to work on a particular issue or behavior that bothers them, it's important to remember that the issue (or idea) to erode is the one you would most aggressively defend for moral, ethical or personal reasons. Again, it's not whether you're right or wrong about what you believe, it's only whether it is realistic for you to expect other people to share your values and beliefs.
When I'm honest with myself, I can use this technique to find my own "hot buttons" to push and work on. But it's easier to do with a therapist who can BOTH support my beliefs AND help me erode my attachments and aversions about them at the same time.
Thanks for starting this thread, Dr. Matt. I look forward to reading more from you.
With kind regards,
Mark H.
poster:Mark H.
thread:538
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20020702/msgs/560.html