Posted by ElaineM on October 17, 2006, at 19:00:44
In reply to Re: I don't get pro ana *trigger*, posted by Deneb on October 16, 2006, at 17:37:05
Deneb : I'm just speaking from personal experience here. I don't claim to be a scientific authority, and my opinion can be one of many. This is just stuff I've absorbed through my own treatments.
>>>>> I get wanting to be thin, but I don't get wanting to be thin to the point of dying. I especially don't get why anyone would help someone starve themselves to the point of death.
The problem with anorexia is that once the disease takes hold, it's not just like regular dieting. Starving yourself (malnutrition, lack of body fat, ketosis...)changes not only your body, but terribly impairs your brain. Your brain needs glucose to function. So even when your body can break down your organs and muscle to survive, your brain can't use that. Having anorexia physiologically distorts your perception abilities - that's why emaciated people can look at themselves and still see fat. But often, eating represents a variety of other issues for AN sufferers, not ONLY a way to manipulate the body (For example, I've known a woman who became unwilling to swallow after being raped. Others felt that eating represented deserving being cared for, and restricted out of a kind of deep unworthiness and self-hate).
An eating disorder is VERY hard to stop, it's like a snowball that just keeps picking up speed. And it's blinding, it makes you not *realize* that death could be a possibility. Plus, alot of the time ANA's have such intense relationships with the idea of control, that it's easy to have an "it [death, or severe medical complications]won't happen to me" mentality.
Personally, I think sometimes that pro-ana sites are used by people as a way to find a community to be a part of. Unfortunately, I think people throw around the title of Anorexic way too casually, and end up making it trendy, in a way. I would think that anyone who would idolize and glorify a person who sadly ended up starving themself to death, do it because they are not taking the disease, or the info on it, seriously.
The only other explanation that I think is relevant is that, the disease is so difficult to beat, so hard to find good treatment for, and causes such trauma to the body, that alot of anorexics get so severly depressed and hopeless that they decided to just give in and accept they will die that way, and I'd assume alot do.
>>>>Anyways, my goal weight is 95 lbs and at that weight I'm only 1 pound underweight so it's no big deal. I'm going to make it to 95 lbs within a year's time. It'll be a healthy weight loss.
> I really am fat. My Mom and everyone in my family says I'm fat. My Mom encourages me to lose 10 pounds. She tempts me with junk food like cookies and chips, but she wants me to lose weight. It's twisted.
((((((Deneb)))))) even if it were true, as your mom says, that you need to lose 10lbs, then you really wouldn't be "really fat" right now.
I've done eating disorder re-feeding treatments three times (with the longest one lasting 6months) and they always made everybody (even if you were only 5 lbs under your highest "lowest healthy weight") go on "weight gain" calorie levels to reach a BMI of 19. I'm not saying that this is the standard written in stone, but I mean, you can find anything on the internet. A regular female with a BMI of 12 would likely die, or completely lose their reproductive capacities, or various other sequalae of the disorder.
Deneb, what's going on? Why is weight becoming so important to you? Someone with body image issues may answer, "because I'm fat", but what comes after that. What's the "...and..." part for you? (it's always there you know)
The fact that you are surfing pro-ana sites suggests that you are *not* being healthy about your desire to lose weight, even though you think your goal healthy. Can you see that? I always get terribly concerned when I hear someone looking down the same path that I regret I chose so much. It was one of those "I wish I could turn back time", life-altering choices.Be careful ((((D)))). I care about you and wouldn't want you hurting yourself.
blove, EL
poster:ElaineM
thread:695085
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20060628/msgs/695638.html