> > > If I offended you in any way by this post or any other I am sorry.
> >
> > > PS. If it brings Lar back, I'll go.
>
> OK, I'm accustomed to keeping my word, so I will go soon.
Jan, you didn't bring me back. You don't have to go.
> > I've been trying to email you through the thyroid forum, but I guess you haven't got the messages.
>
> Well it is tempermental about sending emails..but I've got about 20 other messges every day since then thru it...or thru posts, you can post via email or onto forum too
I don't understand how about works yet. It doesn't do what I want it to do. :-/
I tried emailing you twice, and asked it to send a copy to me, but I didn't get anything. I assumed you didn't either.
> Did you see my picture?
No, I never saw a picture anywhere.
>I never knew why exactly I was drawn to it and the quote until recently, just knew I was... I selected them a couple of years ago.
>
> I would really appreciate it if you could please find my 2 emails to you this week and return a copy to me ....
I didn't get any email from you. If you used the sympatico.ca account, that's a dead account I still post under as a spamblock. I'm at xxx. larryhoover at.....
> to return the email just press "reply" ..?
> Why use the about forum email system when you have my main address?
I don't have it anywhere. I spent hours trying to find it. I read every post of yours that I could find, and I never found it. I thought you'd put it up, once upon a time.....
> I'm not expecting you to comment on anything(although you know we all value any helpful advise from you).
> I had meant to keep a copy for myself to review in "less stressed out?" times, but in my state they got accidentally deleted.. I even retrieved them from the deleted emails a few time, sigh..but they weren't there later on.
I'm afraid they're gone, sweetie, unless you get a bounced email report. The messages would be in the attachment.
> > I'm not the slightest bit closer to finding out what's wrong. Looks like they may have lost my bloodwork. It'll be months before I see the specialist. I've had to push myself away from the topic altogether.
>
> Guess I knew that anyway..intuition ?
> But then after I always get confirmation after from your posts to others anyway. Someone else posted on being able to tell as well about Ame? was it being depressed etc from posting styles...yours are telling as well...perhaps everyone's are unless we keep a "poker posting" face.
>
> Are mine?
Yes, they are. I'm not surprised that I reveal things about myself that aren't literally in text, myself.
> When I get really upset, scared, I act by laughing, joking, clowning around..it's my own personal "coping mechanism".
Yes, but then you go past that. It's the "past that" part that made me concerned about you.
> So if my posts showed any laughing etc in the past (I had the b12 needle on Thursday night 16th.) so from then on.....it's not me laughing at anyone.
There's nothing to explain. No harm, no foul.
> Bet my wit has been gone too.
>
>
> > There's not a thing you've said that's offended me. Quite the contrary. You have been an invaluable support for me, you have given some great ideas, and opened new avenues of inquiry.
> >
> > I'm grateful for your caring.
>
> thanks, thought I must have stepped out of line?
No. Emphatically, no. Not once. Not ever.
> >
> > Forgive me for my insensitivity.
> >
> Lar, my brain/head has BEGUN clearing today still a bit thick though..yesterday and day before the purpleness started retreating from soles of feet..now bright red and electrified tingling intensified..painful to walk
>
> I'm still very confused over a couple of posts over in admin. If you prefer I'll post in admin on it, but I would prefer discussing this via email/or ICQ whatever..perhaps I'm misunderstanding something, but it needs to be cleared up for my reputation if nothing else. I understand you object to emails? Last week I found them almost a lifesaver.
Jan, I'd be happy to discuss things with you via email. May I also suggest that you *are* still confused. Take some time to rest. I don't think you're reading things clearly yet.
> Off that topic, It's become blindingly obvious to me that I need to form some kinda "emergency depression kit" so when I can't think for myself, I know what to take etc.
That's an excellent idea. Put tools in your toolbox before you need them.
> Anyone got any ideas? Is there any drugs/supps that may provide an almost instant uplift, like within a hour or so, in an emergency? If my body is going to keep reacting like this, I need some plan.
Amphetamines?
> > Hugs,
> L8r, Jan
> (would you believe it just took me 10 hours to write this, sigh)
I do believe it. Get some rest. Don't push youself so hard.
> PS. Would like to let everyone reading this know, that I did not threathen suicide or even have suicidal thoughts..just reached the bottom, to the best of my memory anyway
I hope you feel a little stronger soon.
Hugs again,
Lar