Posted by Tabitha on May 7, 2010, at 11:43:34
In reply to Re: caring about each other » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on May 6, 2010, at 8:51:25
I see how Dr Bob's line of inquiry about expectations setting up outcome was relevant to Poster X, and to some degree with Poster Y, but it falls apart for me with Poster Z also.
So Poster Z idealizes Dr Bob, gets a big boost off any attention from Dr Bob, then feels extreme distress when Dr Bob doesn't provide that same level of attention. So obviously Poster Z is holding expectations that will lead to repeated distress periods.
Yet what's Dr Bob doing? He's enabling the idealization phases by allowing all the gushing admiration posts and interacting with Poster Z at the babble events. So he's feeding this cycle of fixation and distress for Poster Z.
Sigh. If one thinks the good outweighs the bad for Poster Z here, or that this is the option of least harm, I guess it's all OK? Is that what Dr Bob is assuming? Has he made some wise decision here? Poster Y might imagine so. Poster X, on the other hand, might think he's just enjoying an ego boost at the cost of continued harm to Poster Z.
A person might think Dr Bob could clear it all up for us by giving us a clue why he's taking the approach he's taking. Again, Poster Y's and Poster X's will draw different conclusions about his silence.
P.S. Obvs Bob has some Poster Y's at the NYT. "Brilliant and reticent". Wow, I guess he's encouraging us all to be Poster Y's with that sig. Yet Poster X might see it as more evidence that he's an out-of-touch narcissist.
poster:Tabitha
thread:945672
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/946654.html