Posted by vwoolf on May 9, 2010, at 2:42:20
In reply to Re: other posters in the alphabet » Dr. Bob, posted by Tabitha on May 8, 2010, at 1:08:13
Interesting discussion.
Well I suppose there could be Babbler A who doesn't post at all because she is so in awe of an omnimpotent and wrathful Dr Bob. She might be convinced that he would ignore her posts or be angry with her for daring to post:
or
Babbler B who might fear that Dr Bob has ulterior motives in hosting this site. She might be constantly suspicious of what he wanted of her, whether to use her as case material or, more ominously, for some kind of secret experiment;
or
Babbler C who might think that Dr Bob would be interested in and excited by her pathology (because otherwise why would he run a site like this - he must have some prurient interest). She might play up her symptoms to draw and hold his attention.
I suppose I can identify with all the attitudes expressed so far, A to Z and probably others besides. I go through most of them on any single day. I think it is one of the things about therapy that frustrates me most, not knowing who is on the other side of the blank slate, and being forced to expose myself in attempting to work it out.
Mostly with Babble my interaction has been with other Babblers and transferencial stuff with Dr Bob is limited. However I have often been aware of it working away in the background. After I post I wonder whether he will see it and what he will think. I guess it has been helpful to me to have a place to bring things where the exposure is not as raw as in therapy but involves similar dynamics. I am not sure that I would have survived the first few years of therapy if I had not had this place to bring things to first. It has felt like a half-way house, a place safe enough to test things out but not meaningless like many other unmoderated boards where there is no sense of the eyes of the other looking on.
And I suppose that's what it is all about - the eyes of the other. Are they cruel or mocking or loving or bored or preoccupied or amused or hateful or murderous or hungry?
Or perhaps nothing at all? Perhaps, and this might be the worst thing of all, perhaps there are no eyes, nobody looking. Perhaps there really is no Dr Bob.
poster:vwoolf
thread:945672
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/946841.html