Posted by Dinah on May 11, 2010, at 8:26:16
In reply to Re: other posters in the alphabet, posted by Dr. Bob on May 11, 2010, at 0:03:21
I thought of another possible one. Babbler W, who wishes to use Babble as a peer oriented mental health community. Poster W might not wish to think about Dr. Bob at all, although Poster W expects Babble to be well run, for intervention to be minimal and non-administrative intervention to be even more minimal. Poster W may or may not disapprove of what minimal non-administrative interaction Dr. Bob has with Babble and may or may not think it is professional in their understanding of what Dr. Bob's role is. But overall, Poster W would expect Dr. Bob to act swiftly and logically to resolve objectionable postings(by Poster W's criteria), and to remain out of anything unobjectionable (by Poster W's criteria).
I think this is actually the way you see it yourself, Dr. Bob, and oughtn't be that much of a problem. Unless the expectations (especially about timeliness) are strong and result in disappointment and anger. Or the definitions of logical and objectionable are based on references to Poster W's beliefs and don't allow for differences in interpretation. Those differences can be inexplicable if Poster W's belief is that those things are self evident and can be seen by any neutral party.
I suppose that over time, Poster W might even begin to resemble Poster X - not because they see you as evil or malevolent. Merely incompetent and unprofessional and lacking in sense and sensibility.
(Can you tell I listened to a Linehan tape about the difference between fact and interpretation, and the non-utilitarian nature of judgment last night?)
This would be not dissimilar to Poster Y as far as possible negative results. Except that Dr. Bob is not is being idealized and overvalued. What's being idealized is *truth* (seen as fact, not fact + interpretation + judgment).
The possible negative results would be the same, in the form of contempt and even rage when Dr. Bob falls short of those expectations.
(Now naturally, my own truths really are totally objective, and readily seen by any neutral person of sense and understanding of basic human emotions. And any anger I might feel at Dr. Bob failing to see these self evident truths is entirely justified. ;)
I say that tongue in cheek, yet... I still do feel that way about things like Twitter and Facebook buttons on the bottom of each page.)
I'm not sure how those expectations change literal reality other than that it increases the chances that Poster W may feel rage or contempt based on the failure of Dr. Bob to live up to their expectations of what a reasonable and professional board administrator ought to do. As opposed, say, to Dr. Bob failing to live up to his own expectations and his own truths. Which one would like to believe is not something that happens frequently.
And while I'm a huge believer in the lowering of expectations, and doing so is generally my response in any relationship I find overall valuable, I can't help but think that a better thing would be for all parties - including and especially Dr. Bob - to make an effort to understand and be sensitive to the emotional meanings that attach to facts, and respectful of them.
But there, you see how insidious that is. There's an expectation in there that contains both facts, interpretations and judgments. And I'm bound to suffer all the consequences that come along with that.
Still, I'm not quite seeing how that influences actual reality. Although I suppose that a person's experience at Babble doesn't necessarily rely on actual reality, just perceived reality.
Perhaps actions taken by Poster W might increase administrative actions, which Poster W might find objectionable and hard to understand? Bah. I'm having trouble with the applying how expectations become reality to this poster.
poster:Dinah
thread:945672
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/947073.html