Posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on June 22, 2009, at 0:46:17
In reply to Please be civil » Amelia_in_StPaul, posted by Deputy Dinah on June 21, 2009, at 21:42:36
Dinah,
I feel really frustrated right now. I am having trouble understanding why I am reminded about civility but others aren't (am I not "being put down" when twinleaf says that I am not "thinking in a fair and accurate manner")? I am also unclear as to what was a put down or accusatory in my post just now. I was responding to things twinleaf was saying, not to twinleaf the person. I am still baffled by what about my original post to garnet was challenging in a supportive way, yet not really in accordance w/civility rules (I was offering hugs, support, care).
Honestly, I don't know how to defend myself.
Is it because I am not putting all of my statements in the form of "I feel..."? --because at least I have done it once or twice...which is more than the number of times it was done in the posts I have responded to (and I have to say that I am really against using "I feel" statements, so it's a big deal for me to accept the guidelines in that regard to the degree I have).
I am very proud of how I have handled myself, despite what I feel to be some unreasonable and defensive, if not attacking, replies. I have given support to others, set boundaries for myself, stood up for myself and, I might add, stood up for others, and have said that I wouldn't reply to accusations so as not to further escalate the blame game.
I feel that the feedback I am getting is not quite fair. I also feel that I deserve positive feedback.
I do, however, really appreciate that you wouldn't want to block me. It is coming to the point where I will make the decision to walk away. I feel I am a valuable member, but I am also feeling like I have to walk on small, very fragile eggshells. I had to do that for a significant portion of my life. I am not interested in doing that any more.
Thank you,
Amelia
poster:Amelia_in_StPaul
thread:902064
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090529/msgs/902550.html