Posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on June 19, 2009, at 13:16:40
I would request that a post go up on psychology board that if anyone wants to post even one sentence about the whole hubbub about my "bias" (which is a totally invalidating term) against psychodynamic approaches, that they do it here, and they do it in a manner when/where I can respond.
I have already responded to twinleaf at the psychology board. I would also like to note that in a message to garnet, Birdsong has buried in it this line: "I did not respond to come across as a "smarty-pants" ~ but I know you and others can understand and perhaps then wish to research further." How can I respond to that? To do so would be to intrude on garnet's thread which is about garnet and her needs. When Birdsong makes that quip, she is implying something that is untrue.
I had already taken great pains to explain to her that I WAS NOT ACCUSING HER OF BEING A SMARTY PANTS. In a post that she has either not read or has chosen to ignore I said this, "Do PLEASE reread my posts. I took great pains to point out that I momentarily felt you were being a smarty pants in your post to ME, not to DENEB."
MOMENTARILY FELT. Not accused, not pointed to it as a character flaw. I said "I felt"--that is exactly what the board's guidelines on civility says we should do: say "I felt."
Finally, I took the high road here. I told her that I was going to not respond to her post to me about this hubbub for a few days so as not to escalate the blame game.
I'm going to say this one more time: 1) I responded to Garnet's post because I care about her. She herself has wavered about what psychodynamic therapy can do for her. So what is the big deal if I suggest, with care, that she try a different therapy? I may have not been as gentle as I would have liked. But that isn't really the issue. The real issue, as evidenced by twinleaf's post, is that: 2). People DO NOT like a dissenting opinion (which is ironic, since everywhere else in the country, mine would be the majority opinion--as garnet herself as stated, there are only about 3,000 psychoanalysts in the US) 3.) Other people's defensiveness does not equal me being in the wrong. People can have lots of reactions to lots of things. How they react, or at least how they deal with it, is their choice--a great lesson of CBT.
Some people say that enabling is a problem. So they do things to stop the enabling. In DBT-speak, we talk about challenging, challenging with love and care. Challenges are a form of support. I may have done it imperfectly (though I have yet to be told in a non-attacking way how), but that doesn't mean that challenges ARE NOT supportive. But as I said, that doesn't seem to be the real issue at all. The real issue is that I don't like psychodynamic therapy at all; as an intellectual exercise, I love it. Didn't I study Lacan in literature classes? But in practice, I don't like it a whit. So what? Really: so what? What does that matter in the scheme of things?
poster:Amelia_in_StPaul
thread:902064
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090529/msgs/902064.html