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I struggle with feeling like I a leper...**Trigg?

Posted by muffled on November 6, 2006, at 14:52:27

In reply to Re: a way for there to be less hurt CS/BOB, posted by muffled on November 6, 2006, at 14:44:41

that I ooze badness. That merely by my presence I can infect others...
Can you imagine the shame of being blocked?
The confirmation of what I beleive about myself?
Fortunately I been working on that in T....
But I wasn't always...
I got actual physical scars from punishing myself for being stupid for being blocked. In revulsion and disgust that I dared to think others might care about the disgusting me.
Rejection cuz I was bad...
I dunno whether Bob considers these things...
Or even can come close to understanding them even.....
I sadly have my doubts....
Or mebbe I should be happy for him that he don't...
All the education in the world can't make a person understand that stuff...

 

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