Posted by verne on May 7, 2006, at 9:28:58
In reply to Re: F*cking Right On » verne, posted by Dinah on May 7, 2006, at 3:52:35
Dinah,
You're right, there aren't that many expressions of love and devotion. But I've seen too many online relationships evolve into a *friendship* that didn't last. The foundation was weak.
I just don't value cyberhugs and expressions of concern, care, or, even love, when, as soon as one side experiences some rough weather, they quickly drift apart. I've seen, "I love you so much" turn into complete indifference overnight. If the same people leave Babble for good, they are quickly forgotten.
There are so many back channels here at Babble. So much between and behind the lines. People form alliances and defend each other from others but never really develop true friendships. Loyalties change, new alliances form - kinda like the reality show "Survivor". The goal becomes winning at Babble. This is a game about POWER and WINNING not support.
There are many ways to WIN.
Zeugma talked about damning with "faint praise". The fist hidden beneath the velvet glove may be employed in many ways. Sometimes attacks aren't that obvious.
For example, if an outsider is found to be threatening to a group, others will lavish so much praise on each other, the "intruder" is silenced, her posts drowned out. I mean, the gang will turn the thread into a mutual lovefest to exclude, isolate, and quietly, but civily, destroy the unwelcome interloper. And later when the other is blocked or leaves in frustration, they remain blameless - "What did we do?"
"What did they do?" They played the game well.
I'm sure you've noticed how many civil posts are carefully crafted, within the civility guidelines, to provoke a fight with someone - to tork them off. How is this possible in the context of support and civility? Being smooth with the rules is rewarded, awkward support isn't.
Those in power (who win) are adept at exploiting the weaknesses in the Babble system, at masking their hostility towards others with *smooth* civility. They use the civility guidelines to their advantage and entice the *other* guy into a civility mistake and losing the game.
I gotta catch the first boat outta here and get offa Survivor Island.
Verne
poster:verne
thread:640562
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060412/msgs/640915.html